To judge or not to judge

An opinion is a judgement call.

Is it "right" to judge people?

Some folks would say no, but we do it all the time. Judgement can keep you safe, prepare you for future events, or give you good reason to act “accordingly” to a situation. 

We like to judge others. We like to say we are a “good judge of character”. How can we be so certain? By experience, we might be able to assume the patterns of someone’s behavior early. If we have done something similar, we tend to see those same traits/flags. “It takes one to know one” people say.

Once people are confident and secure in their judgement of you, there would have to be evidence before someone suspects there has been change and starts to see a different perspective. I believe a positive perspective is what brings people to deny allegations or defend someone they know. Their reality of that person can be so solid that there may need to be several occasions of story/evidence.

And on the other hand, the same is true. It can be very hard to convince someone who has been struck with a negative view of you, or your actions, and help them see you in a different light. They will see what they see until there is evidence.

Only they get to decide how much evidence is needed before they change their minds. We can do nothing about that.

For example:

We have experienced mostly "positive" things about our friend Jimmy but we hear things…

Things they have done, from which we think: "No way Jimmy did that stuff! Jimmy is such a nice person”. ( to us )

Though, once you start talking to Jimmy’s friends…. and start hearing from other people who have experienced Jimmy act a fool?! Now you’re more likely to question your understanding of Jimmy. What if Jimmy actually does do that kind of stuff?? And you’ve been defending him this whole time!? It shakes your reality when you’ve been given other viewpoints of someone you know. It’s easy to overlook certain behavior when you’ve been buddy buddy with Friend Jimmy.

Though, If you find yourself second guessing your intuition and ignoring the warning signs (because look at all the good someone can be!!) ..soon to find out you should have listened to your gut? Relatable.

 I typically give people the benefit of the doubt cause I don’t know what goes on in someone’s head and trauma is real. We don’t know what we don’t know about people. We only have so much of the puzzle.

Do we judge when the puzzle shows the image early or wait to see the rest?